I've been on teams where the manager was doing everything right by this playbook. Being consistent, modeling behavior, celebrating wins, but what nobody wanted to say was that one person was toxic and needed to leave. Or that the company above us was sending mixed signals so nothing actually stuck. Sometimes you do everything the post says and it still fails because the real problem isn't management style it's that this person shouldn't be here, or the organisation is broken higher up. You can do your best and still nothing works and sometimes there are times when to quit, is the best option.
Addressing the problem with the toxic person is a part of the manager's job. If the manager is unwilling to talk about this, then it is the manager's problem.
Sometimes nothing can be done, and it is time to leave. But it wouldn't make a very good article. Or maybe not. But it would be another article. "How to Know When to Quit" or something.
I believe in agency. Having hard conversations with the team and with your own manager is a part of it.
Agree Roman, I had many experiences with toxic people at work, even in my teams I managed. And a few we had to let go, and others, after talking, listening and knowing why that behaviour occurs, the "healing" process begins and it's very rewarding for both sides. I had one that in the end he told me that "thank you for helping me Tino, in all these years you were the only one that stop to listen and act. I feel and know deep inside I'm a different person". I'm a firm believer that we should give people a chance, but there moments when we simply have to let go. Knowing when to quit or let go is part of our journey.
Totally. I am guilty of not addressing toxic or counter-productive behavior in my teams long enough. When these were finally addressed, things got so much better.
And I agree about giving a chance. Just have to be careful not to use it as an excuse for a hard conversation, which many managers do.
Agree with you calling out lack of agency as a problem of weak management. Opposite is also true, having too many of strong opinions. It’s a thin line — to help team being self organized, but with strong guidance.
So interesting! I completely see your point. And also interesting to reflect on my own choice, personally, I would rather go with more loose management.
However, and it goes a bit outside of the scope of the article, if I picked one from two extremes, I would pick the one who says “We do as I said, I know what we are doing,” rather than the one who does not have any opinion.
I've been on teams where the manager was doing everything right by this playbook. Being consistent, modeling behavior, celebrating wins, but what nobody wanted to say was that one person was toxic and needed to leave. Or that the company above us was sending mixed signals so nothing actually stuck. Sometimes you do everything the post says and it still fails because the real problem isn't management style it's that this person shouldn't be here, or the organisation is broken higher up. You can do your best and still nothing works and sometimes there are times when to quit, is the best option.
Addressing the problem with the toxic person is a part of the manager's job. If the manager is unwilling to talk about this, then it is the manager's problem.
Sometimes nothing can be done, and it is time to leave. But it wouldn't make a very good article. Or maybe not. But it would be another article. "How to Know When to Quit" or something.
I believe in agency. Having hard conversations with the team and with your own manager is a part of it.
Agree Roman, I had many experiences with toxic people at work, even in my teams I managed. And a few we had to let go, and others, after talking, listening and knowing why that behaviour occurs, the "healing" process begins and it's very rewarding for both sides. I had one that in the end he told me that "thank you for helping me Tino, in all these years you were the only one that stop to listen and act. I feel and know deep inside I'm a different person". I'm a firm believer that we should give people a chance, but there moments when we simply have to let go. Knowing when to quit or let go is part of our journey.
Totally. I am guilty of not addressing toxic or counter-productive behavior in my teams long enough. When these were finally addressed, things got so much better.
And I agree about giving a chance. Just have to be careful not to use it as an excuse for a hard conversation, which many managers do.
Agree with you calling out lack of agency as a problem of weak management. Opposite is also true, having too many of strong opinions. It’s a thin line — to help team being self organized, but with strong guidance.
So interesting! I completely see your point. And also interesting to reflect on my own choice, personally, I would rather go with more loose management.
I have seen too many times, people without a vision, who are too afraid of making a mistake.
I agree. Extremes are bad.
However, and it goes a bit outside of the scope of the article, if I picked one from two extremes, I would pick the one who says “We do as I said, I know what we are doing,” rather than the one who does not have any opinion.
Thank you so much for this! Consistency and modeling the behavior I expect are going to be my biggest things to work on.